Revenge Tastes Like Mangos!
by Shinar.Shumer.Sumer
Summary: Seamus, Ron and Lee Jordon decide to secretely tape Harry for revenge and blackmail, but Harry is too clever for them! PG for one usage of the B word and romantic content...


AN: uh...yeah...your mother on ice....  
  
  
*We first see Ron Weasly, who is standing in front of a water cooler drinking from a cone shaped cup. He appears to be unaware he is being filmed. The voice of Lee Jordan is heard from behind the camera.  
  
Lee: Yeah Ron, work it work it!  
  
*This startles Ron; he looks up abruptly, dropping his cup.  
  
Ron: (regaining his composure) oh, hullo Lee. Bloody hell, where'd you get that videe-oh cam-er-ah from?  
  
Lee: well, you remember when Seamus had that boy's only sleep over? We filmed all the action...and well, that's where the camera came from.  
  
Ron: (thinking) I don't believe I was invited to that sleepover mate.  
  
Lee: (angrily) hey I'm not your mate you little bia! Stop trying to be Australian... (Under his breath) Jesus Christ of latter day saints...  
  
Ron: gee gollies Lee, I sure am sorry, continue with what you were telling me. (Gestures for Lee to continue)  
  
Lee: well anyway, I went into Seamus' broom closet last night and uh...how shall I say... borrowed his camera.  
  
Ron: wicked ma-! I mean...friend...but why did you borrow it?  
  
Ron gets more water from the drinking fountain, but accidentally spills some on the crotch of his pants.  
  
Ron: son of a bloody bitch....  
  
Lee: (trying to ignore Ron) well anyhow, Justin and I got all hot and bothered off when Harry Potter, the biggest bia in England didn't invite us to be on his talk show, so we're going to film him secretly as a revenge tactic. Yay! (Lee begins jumping up and down, which causes the camera to be jolted up and down)  
  
*Ron walks over to Lee and Places his hands on his shoulders in an attempt to calm him down. Lee stops jumping.  
  
Ron: now Lee, you need to calm yourself old boy.  
  
Lee: (apologetically) sorry there. I just got a bit overexcited...shneikies! I need to lay off the kumquats!  
  
*Ron puts on one of his all-purpose facial expressions.  
  
Ron: (steps back a few paces) it's cool. Bloody potatoes it's cool...anyway, about Harry and the childish pranks...can I join in?  
  
*Lee drops the camera to his side. The camera and everything is upside down. Only part of Ron's leg can be seen.  
  
Lee: that's good...that's good indeed...let's get started...  
  
*The camera shuts off for a few seconds but immediately turns back on. Lee, Ron and Seamus can be heard mumbling behind the camera. They seem to be in a bathroom; Harry potter is standing at a mirror flexing his muscles and other such things.  
  
Lee: (whispering) welcome to the new and improved Harry Potter show folks! (He bursts into impish giggles) if you're just tuning in, we're catching a glimpse of the real Harry Potter.  
  
*Lee Ron and Seamus giggle.  
  
Ron: (whispering) work it Harry!  
  
Lee: (angrily) hey, you don't say work it, I say work it! Go wait in the car, bisapien.  
  
*Harry is now removing his wizard robes and has his face very close to the mirror. His finger runs slowly up his cheek and into his nostril. He looks around to make sure no one is in sight before digging around in his nostril.  
  
Ron and Lee: sick!  
  
Seamus: this is bloody disgusting!  
  
*Harry has now extracted a fine specimen from his nose. He studies it avidly, and then pops it into his mouth. Lee, Seamus and Ron are so disgusted by this display they forget to keep their voices down.  
  
Lee Ron Seamus: Aww man!  
  
*Harry, hearing this sudden outburst comes to attention and looks around suspiciously.  
  
Harry: Is somebody there? Dobby? Is that you? (Moment of silence) Mr. Jingles?  
  
Lee: Ron, who's Mr. Jingles?  
  
Ron: (uncomfortably) uhh...I wouldn't know...(laughs in a high pitched feminine laugh)  
  
*Harry hears this laugh and recognizes it.  
  
Harry: Ron is that you? I know it is! I would recognize that giggle anywhere! Mr. Jingles!  
  
Lee: Ron please don't tell me he's calling you Mr. Jingles...  
  
Ron: (uncomfortably) uhh, well...wait I have an idea. (Loud enough for Harry to hear) Is it safe?  
  
*Harry's head jerks in the direction of Ron's voice.  
  
Harry: yes, it's very safe.  
  
Ron: It puts the lotion on its skin...it does what it's told!  
  
Harry: (smiling) Lotion! (Begins singing in an operatic voice) shanana nananananana shananananana!  
  
Lee: (loudly) oh Hermione, you bushy beast, I, Harry Potter, love you!  
  
Seamus: (imitating Hermione) oh no, what will the teachers thing?  
  
Harry: how do you know about Hermione and me!? (Begins to sing again) shanananan nananana! (Begins pulling articles of clothing off)  
  
Ron: umm, guys we better go.  
  
Lee: I agree, let's get out of here this is frightening. Just leave the camera.  
  
*The camera falls to the bathroom floor and the three boys are heard running away. When the bathroom door is heard closing, Harry walks over to the abandoned camera picks it up and begins laughing maniacally as he presses the lens to his face.  
  
Harry: Remember this Ron; I always win...always...  
  
* Fade out. 


End file.
